It's Nerf or Nothin'

My name's Patrick and I'm an addict.  I'm not hooked booze, drugs, or sex (though that last one is debatable).  I am hooked on Nerf.  Once "the name" in soft foam balls, they have in recent years become really good at producing bright yellow (and sometimes blue) guns that shoot mostly harmless foam darts.  These plastic toy guns aren't just for kids, they are the pussy's paintball, the poor man's airsoft, the child-at-heart's war games.

If your blood doesn't start pumping at the idea of running around the park shooting your friends with guns then check your pants, because you have no balls.  This applies to the ladies as well (with metaphorical balls).  There's something built into the human spirit that loves a good fight, whether it be pistols at dawn, fists in the ring, or words at a rousing debate.  We are a competitive, confrontational, and violent species; why not take advantage of it?

You might say "But Nerf is for kids, why not play paintball?"  Have you ever been shot with a paintball?  It fucking hurts and leaves a big, nasty, painful bruise.  It's also expensive, requiring not only pricey guns, gas, and paint but safety equipment as well.  I'll pass, thank you.  Nerf, on the other hand, is inexpensive (one of the best guns, the Maverick,  is only $10) and only hurts if you get popped in the eye, which can be avoided by not aiming for the face and wearing sunglasses.

You've also got the cool factor.  Most paintball guns look the same (and aren't exactly cool looking to begin with), while Nerf guns (aside from the ugly yellow/orange color scheme) look neat and have designs that resemble real-life and futuristic guns.  Don't like the color?  Get some plastic-friendly spray paint and change it, though I recommend keeping the yellow/orange color and avoiding black for safety reasons (cops aren't going to arrest and detain you as a terror suspect for running around with a yellow plastic gun, a black one that looks like a FN P90 or a Dragunov SVD earns you a one way trip to handcuff-ville [though not in a good way]).  There's also the cosplay/steampunk aspect.  Need a weapon for your custom sci-fi/comic/gaming convention?  Grab a cheap ass Nerf gun and paint, cut, glue, mod the hell out of it and you've got a wicked cool looking gun that, if you were careful about it, still shoots orange foam darts.

With recent guns, Nerf has created an addict's hell.  The mass implementation of the clip-system, barrel attachments, and removable stocks in addition to their previous tactical rails has opened the guns up to crazy customization.  Don't like the short barrel of your Deploy?  Grab the barrel extension from the Recon.  Want more ammo capacity for your Longstrike or Stampede? Get a Raider and use the 35-round drum magazine.  Need a folding stock for your Recon?  Wait with baited breath for the Spectre to be released.  Each new gun seems to have parts that make the older guns better and cooler.

I only have two Nerf guns at the moment, but that will change in the near future.  I may be addicted to Nerf, but at least I've found a relatively cheap and exceptionally fun hobby.  :)