is Richard Donner's 1978 superhero piece of shit, Superman.
First off, Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) is the ugliest woman in that entire fucking movie, and that includes Martha Kent.
Secondly, Lex Luthor shouldn't be surrounded by morons and incompetents. The man's a filthy rich genius, he can afford better help.
Third, and most fucking important is that I can't stand it when a movie, television show, or whatever doesn't follow it's own rules. You see, every universe has a set of rules that make it work, and the universe of 1978's Superman is no exception. If Superman exists in that universe and his powers function the way they do because of the reasons they give, then fucking awesome. Those are the rules. However, now that you've established those rules, you can't go fucking with them! Logic still has to function, even if it's a logic that includes Superman.
*Spoiler alert, in case you haven't seen a 32 year old movie.*
I'll buy, in the universe of the movie, that the rotation of the Earth is what controls time. It's insane, and makes no fucking sense, but I'll go with it. However, time works like time does. If you spin the Earth to make time reverse, then every fucking thing goes back in time. The car un-crushes, the damn un-collapses, the fissure in the ground seals up. It will even reverse the death of an ugly bitch. What it will fucking not do is allow for Jimmy Fucking Olsen to be in the middle of nowhere, right where Superman left him before he reversed time.
Yes, this entire argument is based on Jimmy Olsen not being at the Hoover Dam. It pissed me off that much.
The dam began to collapse, Superman saves Jimmy, Lois dies, time is reversed, and somehow in that reversal of time, Jimmy Olsen exists in a bubble of unaffected time and remains right where Superman left him. Bull Fucking Shit. Not to mention that if Superman can travel so fucking fast that he can make the fucking planet rotate in the other direction then he can fucking fly fast enough to stop two fucking nuclear missiles.
"But he couldn't fly that fast until the death of Lois pushed him beyond his limits" you say. Fine, fuck you. Then he should have kept time fucking flowing backwards until the missiles hadn't been launched yet then go and fucking stop them. Reversing time just enough to save Lois didn't fucking save the other countless lives that the detonation of a nuclear missile causes, whether directly or indirectly from the ensuing earthquakes. Letting that missile detonate, and possibly killing people in the process, was irresponsible of Superman. Besides, fuck that noise, if he can reverse time then he can go back in time and save Jonathan Kent, or stop Hitler or all sorts of shit. And don't give me that shit about his dad telling him not to fuck with human progress, that's bullshit. Dude's a superhero, if that's not fucking with natural human progress then I don't know what would.
Other than that, not a bad movie. Gene Hackman makes a good Luthor, Reeve made a good Superman, and I kinda liked the character development of Clark/Superman. It was a good film, up until the end. Wipe the last 20 minutes from your memory, make Lois attractive, and give Luthor some descent henchmen and it would be a fucking awesome movie.
Seriously though, that bitch is ugly.
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