I haven't blogged in a goodly while, and while I apologize to my non-existent readership, I can't promise I'll do better. Being employed has taken up more of my time than I expected, leaving me less time to interface with the new wife, which leaves me even less time for personal things like reading, video games, and writing. I haven't had a normal full time job (excluding summer jobs) since 2006, so I'm in unfamiliar territory. I've never been good at time management so a lot of things just don't get the time they deserve, my wife included. Anywho, enough about time, let's talk about time!
That's right, it's New Year's Eve. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. I know it's supposed to be this time of change and renewal, and all that jazz, but anymore it just means I have to remember to write not only a new month but a new year on my checks as well. But I suppose we can do that "year in remembrance" thing.
Twenty-ten was a year of ups and downs. Lots of them. I'd normally say more downs than ups, but considering how well off I am at the moment I'd have to go with ups being at least equal to downs, if not pulling ahead. In terms of change, the ups take it hands down, but it was a come from behind victory. I'd list actual events, but I have no concept of time at all, and coupled with my notoriously bad memory, I can't remember when shit actually happened, how it happened, and if it happened at all. (Pro Tip: Make up a bullshit story about me owing you a favor and chances are I'll buy it just because I assume that I forgot all about it.)
As for the year to come, well I'm not really sure what to expect. A bigger apartment would be nice, but that will cost more. Having a child would be fucking awesome, but that too costs more. And both, well that would just about bankrupt my ass despite the latter requiring the former. Really, all I hope to accomplish is getting my shit straight and setting Wendy and I on a good track forward. Our future goals are well within grasp if we can just keep our shit together long enough to obtain them. You want a New Year's resolution? How about making a long term life plan and sticking to it. That's my resolution.
On a related note, I'm going to take a stand against this middle of winter new year shit. Why not spring? I remember reading somewhere (and I'm sure some of you can confirm/correct me on this) that the beginning of spring used to be when pre-christian folks would celebrate the new year. I like that idea: lots of warmth, regrowth, and new beginnings. So if you really want to celebrate the new year with me, wait 3 or 4 months, then we'll party.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The Most Fucking Retarded Movie...
is Richard Donner's 1978 superhero piece of shit, Superman.
First off, Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) is the ugliest woman in that entire fucking movie, and that includes Martha Kent.
Secondly, Lex Luthor shouldn't be surrounded by morons and incompetents. The man's a filthy rich genius, he can afford better help.
Third, and most fucking important is that I can't stand it when a movie, television show, or whatever doesn't follow it's own rules. You see, every universe has a set of rules that make it work, and the universe of 1978's Superman is no exception. If Superman exists in that universe and his powers function the way they do because of the reasons they give, then fucking awesome. Those are the rules. However, now that you've established those rules, you can't go fucking with them! Logic still has to function, even if it's a logic that includes Superman.
*Spoiler alert, in case you haven't seen a 32 year old movie.*
I'll buy, in the universe of the movie, that the rotation of the Earth is what controls time. It's insane, and makes no fucking sense, but I'll go with it. However, time works like time does. If you spin the Earth to make time reverse, then every fucking thing goes back in time. The car un-crushes, the damn un-collapses, the fissure in the ground seals up. It will even reverse the death of an ugly bitch. What it will fucking not do is allow for Jimmy Fucking Olsen to be in the middle of nowhere, right where Superman left him before he reversed time.
Yes, this entire argument is based on Jimmy Olsen not being at the Hoover Dam. It pissed me off that much.
The dam began to collapse, Superman saves Jimmy, Lois dies, time is reversed, and somehow in that reversal of time, Jimmy Olsen exists in a bubble of unaffected time and remains right where Superman left him. Bull Fucking Shit. Not to mention that if Superman can travel so fucking fast that he can make the fucking planet rotate in the other direction then he can fucking fly fast enough to stop two fucking nuclear missiles.
"But he couldn't fly that fast until the death of Lois pushed him beyond his limits" you say. Fine, fuck you. Then he should have kept time fucking flowing backwards until the missiles hadn't been launched yet then go and fucking stop them. Reversing time just enough to save Lois didn't fucking save the other countless lives that the detonation of a nuclear missile causes, whether directly or indirectly from the ensuing earthquakes. Letting that missile detonate, and possibly killing people in the process, was irresponsible of Superman. Besides, fuck that noise, if he can reverse time then he can go back in time and save Jonathan Kent, or stop Hitler or all sorts of shit. And don't give me that shit about his dad telling him not to fuck with human progress, that's bullshit. Dude's a superhero, if that's not fucking with natural human progress then I don't know what would.
Other than that, not a bad movie. Gene Hackman makes a good Luthor, Reeve made a good Superman, and I kinda liked the character development of Clark/Superman. It was a good film, up until the end. Wipe the last 20 minutes from your memory, make Lois attractive, and give Luthor some descent henchmen and it would be a fucking awesome movie.
Seriously though, that bitch is ugly.
First off, Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) is the ugliest woman in that entire fucking movie, and that includes Martha Kent.
Secondly, Lex Luthor shouldn't be surrounded by morons and incompetents. The man's a filthy rich genius, he can afford better help.
Third, and most fucking important is that I can't stand it when a movie, television show, or whatever doesn't follow it's own rules. You see, every universe has a set of rules that make it work, and the universe of 1978's Superman is no exception. If Superman exists in that universe and his powers function the way they do because of the reasons they give, then fucking awesome. Those are the rules. However, now that you've established those rules, you can't go fucking with them! Logic still has to function, even if it's a logic that includes Superman.
*Spoiler alert, in case you haven't seen a 32 year old movie.*
I'll buy, in the universe of the movie, that the rotation of the Earth is what controls time. It's insane, and makes no fucking sense, but I'll go with it. However, time works like time does. If you spin the Earth to make time reverse, then every fucking thing goes back in time. The car un-crushes, the damn un-collapses, the fissure in the ground seals up. It will even reverse the death of an ugly bitch. What it will fucking not do is allow for Jimmy Fucking Olsen to be in the middle of nowhere, right where Superman left him before he reversed time.
Yes, this entire argument is based on Jimmy Olsen not being at the Hoover Dam. It pissed me off that much.
The dam began to collapse, Superman saves Jimmy, Lois dies, time is reversed, and somehow in that reversal of time, Jimmy Olsen exists in a bubble of unaffected time and remains right where Superman left him. Bull Fucking Shit. Not to mention that if Superman can travel so fucking fast that he can make the fucking planet rotate in the other direction then he can fucking fly fast enough to stop two fucking nuclear missiles.
"But he couldn't fly that fast until the death of Lois pushed him beyond his limits" you say. Fine, fuck you. Then he should have kept time fucking flowing backwards until the missiles hadn't been launched yet then go and fucking stop them. Reversing time just enough to save Lois didn't fucking save the other countless lives that the detonation of a nuclear missile causes, whether directly or indirectly from the ensuing earthquakes. Letting that missile detonate, and possibly killing people in the process, was irresponsible of Superman. Besides, fuck that noise, if he can reverse time then he can go back in time and save Jonathan Kent, or stop Hitler or all sorts of shit. And don't give me that shit about his dad telling him not to fuck with human progress, that's bullshit. Dude's a superhero, if that's not fucking with natural human progress then I don't know what would.
Other than that, not a bad movie. Gene Hackman makes a good Luthor, Reeve made a good Superman, and I kinda liked the character development of Clark/Superman. It was a good film, up until the end. Wipe the last 20 minutes from your memory, make Lois attractive, and give Luthor some descent henchmen and it would be a fucking awesome movie.
Seriously though, that bitch is ugly.
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