Yeah, it's on of those "Thanksgiving posts". Deal with it.
I've always been pretty thankful for what I've had in life, even if I couldn't fully appreciate or even truly know what I had. This Thanksgiving is different, I've got a lot to be thankful for (as usual), but the scope of it is enormous.
I'm thankful for my employer and the friend who helped me get the job. You've improved my life immeasurably, giving me not only an income but something to channel my energy into. I also have a lot less stress in my life now that I know where my next meal is coming from (aside from my wife's generosity).
I'm thankful for my sister and niece who have always been there for me, even at their own expense. I will never be able to repay them for their kindness, support and generosity. Seriously though, I know the approximate dollar figure and I probably will never be able to pay it back.
I'm thankful for my parents who, despite their prejudices, attended my heathen wedding. While we almost never see eye to eye, they've always been there to catch me when I fall and remind me that while my head is in the clouds (or up my ass, according to my dad) I should keep my feet firmly on the ground.
I'm thankful for my internet friends who helped me when they had no reason to, other than a shared situation. Your insight and words helped me find happiness.
I'm thankful for my Missoula friends for being my friends and not dismissing me as just "Wendy's boyfriend". I don't make friends easily and it's nice to have them. Your continued tolerance of my stupidity and immaturity astounds me, and I thank you for that.
Most of all I'm thankful to my wife, Wendy. You found me when I was at my lowest, heaviest, poorest, and most pathetic yet still found something to love. You became my first and best friend in this new and foreign place, showed me that somebody could love me for who I am. You gave me a home when I was homeless, food when I was hungry, and companionship when I was lonely. You agreed to marry me despite the fact I had nothing to offer you but my love. I owe you my life, in more ways than one. Thank you, for everything.
This Thanksgiving I'm a very thankful man, and you should be too. Take a good hard look at your life and you'll agree, we all have a lot to be thankful for. :)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Trust, and a Lack There Of.
First, read this. If you're thinking "wow, that's a great tool, I wish I had one to spy on my child/spouse" then slap yourself, hard.
GPS trackers, keyloggers, porn detectors, etc. All of that shit exists because nobody fucking trusts anybody anymore. Why? Because nobody is honest anymore. We live in a world where nobody trusts anybody, so nobody is honest with anybody, thus causing others to not trust them! We tag our little children with GPS so we can track them in case they're kidnapped because we don't trust society at large, but when they grow up we just find better hiding spots for the GPS because we don't trust the kids enough to come home after school when they say they will. We scan our spouse's computers for hidden IM and chat logs because they've been spending a lot of time online. We search computers and sock drawers for porn because we're afraid either our children will find out about sex or that our spouses aren't interested in us anymore. We stop trusting the very people we should trust the most, our families. Why? To protect them, of course.
BULL-FUCKING-SHIT.
We do it to protect ourselves from the realities of life. We don't want to think that even for a minute our marriages aren't perfect, our children may do bad things or have bad thoughts, or that anything might exist outside our tiny, self-created, quasi-perfect worldview. Guess what? Your spouse looks at porn and finds other people attractive. Your kid looks porn and will do bad things. The people you know and should trust aren't perfect, they're human-fucking-beings. And you? You've destroyed what little trust they had in you by violating their privacy.
Do you want to have a happy, well-adjusted family? Start with a little honesty and trust. Tell your spouse how you honestly feel and tell them that you trust them to be honest with you. Tell your kids that you know they might not always want to tell you things, but that you love them and trust them to be honest with you. However, the most important part of this is to not get pissed off when they are honest with you. Calm the fuck down and talk about it. Nothing is perfect, not you, not your kids, not your spouse, not your marriage, not your family. Everything has flaws and it's those flaws that make us human, that make us special and lovable.
Trust your family. Be honest with your family. If you do that, then they will too. Always remember the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
GPS trackers, keyloggers, porn detectors, etc. All of that shit exists because nobody fucking trusts anybody anymore. Why? Because nobody is honest anymore. We live in a world where nobody trusts anybody, so nobody is honest with anybody, thus causing others to not trust them! We tag our little children with GPS so we can track them in case they're kidnapped because we don't trust society at large, but when they grow up we just find better hiding spots for the GPS because we don't trust the kids enough to come home after school when they say they will. We scan our spouse's computers for hidden IM and chat logs because they've been spending a lot of time online. We search computers and sock drawers for porn because we're afraid either our children will find out about sex or that our spouses aren't interested in us anymore. We stop trusting the very people we should trust the most, our families. Why? To protect them, of course.
BULL-FUCKING-SHIT.
We do it to protect ourselves from the realities of life. We don't want to think that even for a minute our marriages aren't perfect, our children may do bad things or have bad thoughts, or that anything might exist outside our tiny, self-created, quasi-perfect worldview. Guess what? Your spouse looks at porn and finds other people attractive. Your kid looks porn and will do bad things. The people you know and should trust aren't perfect, they're human-fucking-beings. And you? You've destroyed what little trust they had in you by violating their privacy.
Do you want to have a happy, well-adjusted family? Start with a little honesty and trust. Tell your spouse how you honestly feel and tell them that you trust them to be honest with you. Tell your kids that you know they might not always want to tell you things, but that you love them and trust them to be honest with you. However, the most important part of this is to not get pissed off when they are honest with you. Calm the fuck down and talk about it. Nothing is perfect, not you, not your kids, not your spouse, not your marriage, not your family. Everything has flaws and it's those flaws that make us human, that make us special and lovable.
Trust your family. Be honest with your family. If you do that, then they will too. Always remember the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Tubby Bitch No More!
First, look at this dude:
That's Lou Fucking Ferrigno. Some know him as IFBB Mr. America 1969 and Mr. Universe 1973, others know him as television's The Incredible Hulk, and my friend Wess knows him as God. Regardless of how you are acquainted with Mr. Ferrigno, he was (and pretty much still is) a buff, sexy mother fucker.
Now look at this dude:
That's me. Sure, he gets the occasional sexy chick, but they're almost always forced into the situation (and pity sex is never cool). How I landed my wife is beyond me, and it sure wasn't with studly good looks. That's because when we met I was a stout 382 pounds of lardass. That's right folks, I was damn near the size of three healthy human beings. Or one Hutt, giver or take a couple pounds.
Thankfully, a rigorous workout schedule consisting of lots and lots of nookie and a bit of newly gained personal pride managed to whittle away at that Hutt-like physique and drop me down to a low of 304 lbs (in 4 months, none-the-less!). Unfortunately, since then I've gotten lazy and ballooned back up to 330 lbs as of today. And while I no longer have to work hard to impress chicks (the titanium carbide ceramic ball-and-chain around my finger takes care of that) I still dream of one day approaching Ferrigno levels of sexy, muscular buff-ness. And that journey begins now.
Today I go back to the gym and I'm going to hit the weights, hard. My plan, for the moment, is to build muscle and strength and when I'm feeling good about my progress and have something worthy of uncovering, I will begin to chip away at the layers of blubber, exposing the marble Adonis beneath. Or more likely, the slightly less fat guy who can actually lift a house cat without pulling something. Either way, I refuse to be Jabba anymore. I refuse to have creaky knees. I refuse to stop sex because I'm too damn out of shape to finish. I refuse to be another fat American.
And really, if I don't take a stand now I'm looking at a heart attack and type 2 diabetes before long. And one thing is for damn sure, I absolutely fucking refuse to be that 35 year old fat fucker who needs the electric scooter at walmart. Fuck that shit, it ends now.
That's Lou Fucking Ferrigno. Some know him as IFBB Mr. America 1969 and Mr. Universe 1973, others know him as television's The Incredible Hulk, and my friend Wess knows him as God. Regardless of how you are acquainted with Mr. Ferrigno, he was (and pretty much still is) a buff, sexy mother fucker.
Now look at this dude:
That's me. Sure, he gets the occasional sexy chick, but they're almost always forced into the situation (and pity sex is never cool). How I landed my wife is beyond me, and it sure wasn't with studly good looks. That's because when we met I was a stout 382 pounds of lardass. That's right folks, I was damn near the size of three healthy human beings. Or one Hutt, giver or take a couple pounds.
Thankfully, a rigorous workout schedule consisting of lots and lots of nookie and a bit of newly gained personal pride managed to whittle away at that Hutt-like physique and drop me down to a low of 304 lbs (in 4 months, none-the-less!). Unfortunately, since then I've gotten lazy and ballooned back up to 330 lbs as of today. And while I no longer have to work hard to impress chicks (the titanium carbide ceramic ball-and-chain around my finger takes care of that) I still dream of one day approaching Ferrigno levels of sexy, muscular buff-ness. And that journey begins now.
Today I go back to the gym and I'm going to hit the weights, hard. My plan, for the moment, is to build muscle and strength and when I'm feeling good about my progress and have something worthy of uncovering, I will begin to chip away at the layers of blubber, exposing the marble Adonis beneath. Or more likely, the slightly less fat guy who can actually lift a house cat without pulling something. Either way, I refuse to be Jabba anymore. I refuse to have creaky knees. I refuse to stop sex because I'm too damn out of shape to finish. I refuse to be another fat American.
And really, if I don't take a stand now I'm looking at a heart attack and type 2 diabetes before long. And one thing is for damn sure, I absolutely fucking refuse to be that 35 year old fat fucker who needs the electric scooter at walmart. Fuck that shit, it ends now.
Lots of Shit
I've been a bad blogger, but I've got legitimate excuses this time. Kind of. We went on a 48 hour honeymoon, I got a job, and overall shit has been busy the last few weeks. Now it's all starting to slow down and form a regular schedule, which I like. So on with the rambling.
First off, the job. As some of you know, I went to school to study television broadcasting. It was, in my opinion at the time, a poor man's film school. However, I fell in love with television (and radio, to a lesser extent) and pined away at getting a job in television after my schooling ended. A year and a half later and thanks to a friend, I'm working in television. I am a Master Control Operator for a hub of local/regional stations. It's a good job and I like it, and if you know me then you know how rarely I say that I like a job (in fact, this may be the first time). I'm pretty excited about it and I'll talk your ear off about it if you let me. That being said, let's move on.
Wendy and I now have a two income household (see above), so it's time to think about the future. With a gross increase of 80% to our cash flow the possibility of getting a larger apartment, a new car, or other things has opened up and I intend on capitalizing on some of them in the next year or so. Especially the "other things" category, in which progress has already begun. Mostly I'm stoked about the stability this income provides, and that I finally feel like I'm pulling my weight in this relationship instead of continuing my favored position of Professional Freeloader.
So far marriage feels exactly as it did before. Nothing is different aside from the lump of black alloy-based ceramics that encases my finger, trapping water and destroying my flesh. And even that is getting better every day. The reasoning behind this, as I discovered today, is because of the fundamental nature of Wendy and I's relationship. We met as two lonely people looking for companionship and we became friends instantly. Soon that friendship matured and we became honest-to-goodness best friends. That, I believe is the secret to our relationship. No matter what, we always have been and always will be friends on the most basic of levels. For some strange reason, knowing that I made a life long best friend and that I get to spend the rest of eternity with my best friend means everything to me. I love her more than anything, and I am so happy to be her husband, her lover, and her friend.
And I think I'm going to end this here, because none of what I wrote made any damn sense. It's late, I'm tired, and I shouldn't blog just because I was inspired to by others. However, it was a good catch up post and I'll try to write something a bit more focused tomorrow.
First off, the job. As some of you know, I went to school to study television broadcasting. It was, in my opinion at the time, a poor man's film school. However, I fell in love with television (and radio, to a lesser extent) and pined away at getting a job in television after my schooling ended. A year and a half later and thanks to a friend, I'm working in television. I am a Master Control Operator for a hub of local/regional stations. It's a good job and I like it, and if you know me then you know how rarely I say that I like a job (in fact, this may be the first time). I'm pretty excited about it and I'll talk your ear off about it if you let me. That being said, let's move on.
Wendy and I now have a two income household (see above), so it's time to think about the future. With a gross increase of 80% to our cash flow the possibility of getting a larger apartment, a new car, or other things has opened up and I intend on capitalizing on some of them in the next year or so. Especially the "other things" category, in which progress has already begun. Mostly I'm stoked about the stability this income provides, and that I finally feel like I'm pulling my weight in this relationship instead of continuing my favored position of Professional Freeloader.
So far marriage feels exactly as it did before. Nothing is different aside from the lump of black alloy-based ceramics that encases my finger, trapping water and destroying my flesh. And even that is getting better every day. The reasoning behind this, as I discovered today, is because of the fundamental nature of Wendy and I's relationship. We met as two lonely people looking for companionship and we became friends instantly. Soon that friendship matured and we became honest-to-goodness best friends. That, I believe is the secret to our relationship. No matter what, we always have been and always will be friends on the most basic of levels. For some strange reason, knowing that I made a life long best friend and that I get to spend the rest of eternity with my best friend means everything to me. I love her more than anything, and I am so happy to be her husband, her lover, and her friend.
And I think I'm going to end this here, because none of what I wrote made any damn sense. It's late, I'm tired, and I shouldn't blog just because I was inspired to by others. However, it was a good catch up post and I'll try to write something a bit more focused tomorrow.
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